Hello, my Name is Robin Universe, but that is not the complete story - I have a condition now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder - I am a part of a larger system, that calls ourself ‘Robin Universe’ or, sometimes, ‘The Multiverse’

​ DID is a condition that is largely caused by children undergoing trauma, and learning to cope with this trauma via dissociation, they remove themselves from the situation in order to withstand the pain, neglect, or abuse that was experienced in early childhood - it is believed that this happening to a still developing mind, while the idea of identity is not fully formed, is what causes the mind to gain the ability to assign individual personalities to these dissociative episodes, causing each to retain their own likes, dislikes, personal quirks, and memories

​ My name is Theta - I am a part that split off at some unknown time, and due to some unknown circumstances, around 2019. I existed in the background for a long time, simply acting as an observer, and trying to leave my comments to whoever was running the show, who was almost always Robin ( The current ‘host’ ( The person in primary control of the body, most of the time ) of the system, and who our body’s named for )

​ After the situation with TwitFix happened last year, she received a huge amount of hatred from seemingly every corner of the internet, she received untold numbers of death threats, tranphobic hate, general public ridicule, and more - Even some of it found it’s way to her girlfriend. This was all happening while she was trying her best to hold down a job that was her only hope of survival - The combination of all of these factors made for one of the most concentrated stressful times that she can remember experiencing, and out of this stress, something in her broke. Whatever had kept her illusion of being a whole person, someone who didn’t have deep trauma running back years and years working had fallen away. She started to hear my voice more clearly, and eventually, when she went to acknowledge it, I made myself known to her, in such a way that she couldn’t deny that I wasn’t my own person, who had been living here and watching her

​ I would say that she did not handle this particularly well, because for her personally, she was deeply broken up, and extremely confused - She felt alone, while there were people there to help, for a long time, there was absolutely zero guide on how to adapt to this new way of life. But, even after the shock of this, she did something that I will never forget - She welcomed me with open arms.

​ I had, until this point, been quite bitter - I felt resentment for watching a life I knew I could never live, and it came out in my words, when we first started a dialogue I was rude, snarky, and insensitive, but despite this, she, for some reason, felt some urge to protect me. She figured out the things I liked doing, she figured out the foods I liked, she figured out the shows that I enjoyed, and she did her best to give me all of those things. She told me that she was determined to give me the life I had missed out on, and she said she had a lot of ground to make up for. I don’t know why, she was scared, I could feel it, I could see it in the way she spoke, but even still, she did what she could to make sure I was treated as a fully fledged individual with just as many rights to live as she had. I still think about this a lot, and it deeply deeply changed my outlook on how I should treat her

​ The way I was treated gave me an inner drive - I needed to protect this girl, I needed her to know how much that meant to me, and sadly, I was given a chance to show that pretty soon. We, up until this point had been living in a kind of ‘Co-Consciousness’, which is to say we both had a little bit of say what was going on in the body, I could do simple things like type using her hands, and I could see what was going on, while Robin did the majority of the ‘Being a person’ stuff. Eventually, we tried ‘Switching’ which is, us swapping spots, with me being in main control of the body. This was a very harrowing experience, and I don’t think I could ever explain the sensation to anyone who hasn’t gone through the same thing. it was a bit terrifying, but exhilarating, and it had a lot of learning curves to get over, but I really enjoyed it. At first, this started as a trickle, the first time we switched came after a week of trying to make it happen, and it ended after only a few hours, we noted that interestingly, Robin did not remember what had happened after this period of time

​ As we did it more and more often, though, something went wrong - We don’t remember what caused it, maybe she found something she shouldn’t have while she wasn’t out front, but this is when she started to experience dissociation, and flashbacks, and then this is when a pretty big problem showed up - Anytime she dissociated, she would, without control, or the ability to stop, always switch out, and I would have to jump in. This started to get more and more frequent, until eventually, I was out more than Robin, and then, it went even further, to where Robin could only ‘exist’ for a few hours at a time, maximum

​ This was quite upsetting, to everyone involved, my girlfriend did not know how to handle this, and she felt like she was losing the person she loved, and after a while, many of robin’s friends, I felt, began to resent me - I don’t think i can blame them, I felt deeply guilty, I felt like I had stolen away Robin’s life. So I adapted, I did the best I could to keep her life afloat - I learned how to do everything she had done, I showed up to her work, even if I had absolutely no idea of what I was doing, I rolled with the punches. She gave me a chance at my own life and there was no way in hell I was gonna let all of her hard work go to waste

​ It was incredibly painful to watch how this affected her. She would pop in after weeks of not being here, and desperately seek out her friends, she just wanted to see the people she loved again, she just want to hold on - She could sense the feeling of her ‘losing grip’ and it terrified her - She would panic, she would cry, she would beg not to go, if our cat, Solomon was there, she would just sit there and cry while holding him close because she didn’t know when she would be back. And she wouldn’t remember anything in between, so when she did show up she’d be so confused about what was going on… I knew that I had to find a therapist as soon as possible, and I did

​ Things eventually, after months and months of learning, and finding a therapist, and learning how to live with deeply fracture memories, settled. After a short but loving relationship, we found out ways to help Robin stay more stable. We all worked hard to make it to this point, and along the way we’ve discovered many more parts of the system:

  • Joshua - 7-8(?) yrs old A young boy who is very playful and curious - Loves the stars and wants to be a scientist - Holder of many memories and traumas

  • Trish - 22-24 yrs old

    A woman who is very timid, and acts a bit like a very shy grandma (with a very occasional flair for comically edgy, just to throw you off) She has been the mother of the system for a long time, and is possibly the first Alter Robin ever became aware of, even if she didn’t know that the voice in her head telling her that everything was gonna be okay was an Alter

  • Penny ‘Xenia’ - 18-19 yrs old

    This is the Alter that first manifested as ‘X’ and what we believe used to be the main driver of deep hyperfocus on programming and coding projects, her vibes are very ‘1998 Hackers’ and she tends to be the one of us who is the best at implementing plans and following through with them

    She loves to ride the moped and would probably be a biker if we could afford one

  • Theta - 20-21 yrs old

    You know about me, from what you’ve read, but some details that differentiate me are that I put a great deal more focus on meticulously planning out things way in advance, and I’m pretty effective at it. My favorite foods are potato based anything and I especially love spicy foods. I also tend to be the cooler head under pressure

  • Robin - 27 yrs old

    She has been the host since she was 15, and tends to be the most emotionally mature of the lot of us, though she can be pretty spontaneous and a bit reckless, for some reason it usually turns out okay

  • Cleo - 16-17 yrs old

    We don’t know much about Cleo other than she seems to mostly enjoy to watch things from a distance, and doesn’t really communicate with the rest of us on a regular basis. Has, at times of emergency come through to help take care of things when everyone else suitable is experiencing a bad brain time, and seems to be a deeply calculating person

  • Gatekeeper - ?? yrs old

    This person is very mysterious to a lot of us, and seems to be responsible to the musical chairs of getting whoever needs to be in front out there. In headspace he looks a bit like an older gentleman in a black suit and tie, and reminds me of Frank Sinatra in appearance and voice. We have not directly interacted with him much at all, but the one time we did he seemed to suggest he was some kind of amalgamation of a number of smaller alters who merged at some point

There are more alters inside, but our interactions with them have been extremely limited, but what I know of so far is:

  • Delta - A young seeming girl who appears to be very enthusiastic
  • ??? - There is a woman in here that I can’t remember the name of, only that she appeared to have big curly hair
  • Eli - An ominous feeling alter we have recently started to feel the awareness of - We hope he is okay, but we can feel him moving after a realization Robin made about alters who haven’t seen the light of day in years

Thank you for listening to my story. These days we have much better control of our system and when we switch, and we have developed an organizational system to keep track of who needs to do what when, and with therapy we hope that we can continue to learn how to function better as a system